Learning To Heal
by Please.Insert.Name
Summary: Foyet may have taken Haley, but Spencer will be damned if he claims Aaron as well. AH/SR established.


Men can break in many ways. Some fall apart silently, their emotions concealed behind a mask that they hoped would fool many, and yet tricked so few. And then there was apocalyptic rage, when they could see through the haze and with the eyes of rationality again and emptiness would settle, as if all the emotion they were capable of was expended in that moment.

Spencer Reid had seen many men fall apart. Unsubs who had gotten too cocky, before falling off their self awarded pedestal when the BAU caught up to them. Victims who had been controlled by their offender, their emotions there own once more. Logically he knew everyone was capable of crumbling, but he had never thought Aaron Hotchner would.

Aaron had guided him back from Hankle, his long dead captor haunting his every move, making him feel trapped by his own mind. He had shattered many times, and yet always been built again, not quite as good as new, but almost.

However, this case was different.

Currently they were sitting in the hospital waiting room. Around them were the pristine, clinical staff, none of them looking at the stoic man currently sitting next to him, merely at their charts and treating humans as walking symptoms waiting to be cured.

This day had been the longest day of his life, but he knew it was not going to get any better any time soon. Aaron had lost Haley, and for a moment he had lost his mind, battering The Reaper into the floor of the place he had once called home.

Now he just had to deal with the fallout.

Aaron fit into the 'empty' category. He had expended his rage and still it had done nothing, now all he could feel was cold at the fact he had been unable to save her, and that Jack was currently being looked over because of a man he had goaded so long ago.

But it was only so far he could treat this analytically, and he pressed his warm hand in Aaron's trembling ones. His lover never even moved, not hint of his presence was recognised except the slight flick of his eyes looking at his hands. Spencer knew without even thinking through a profiler's mind that he could still see the blood even though in reality none remained.

Looking into Aaron's eyes he could see no emotion on the surface, but then he had known Aaron for a long time, and more intimately than most. The emotion wasn't gone, merely locked up, too painful to bear at this particular moment,. Not for the first time he marvelled at his lover's compartmentalisation skills, even though he knew his subconscious would be more truthful later.

His wish to leave increased tenfold so that he could wrap Aaron in his arms and tell him that it would be alright in the end. He never thought the elder man would appreciate him doing that here, let alone believe the words that were trying to claw their way up his throat.

"Daddy!" Jack's familiar cry tugged at Spencer's heart. He saw the fair haired boy run towards his father from the arms of an elderly nurse, and he sent up his thanks that they could soon put this place behind them.

It was at his son's voice that Aaron finally stirred. His face flooded with relief, the paranoia that he had been unable to save Jack as well fading with the sound of his son's rapidly approaching footsteps.

"How is he?" asked Aaron, his voice somewhat muffled since Jack had him in a bone crushing hold.

"Physically he is fine, but emotionally it'll be a long road to recovery," replied the nurse solemnly, her eyes gazing fondly at the father and son embracing.

And she was right. They were fine physically. Spencer knew there were a lot of sleepless nights ahead, but as Aaron had chased away his nightmare so would he chase away his and Jack's.

Hand in hand they walked out of the hospital, feeling the first rays of a new sun on their pale, tear stained faces. Yes, they had lost a key part of them. Yes, the next few months would be challenging. But he would help them to recover, and in this moment, even in the midst of all this chaos, all Spencer felt was peace.

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_"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned from life: It goes on."_

_~ Robert Frost_

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_A/N: It's been a very long time since I have written Criminal Minds fanfiction and so I apologise if this isn't of my previous standard. I was recently reading through some of my old stories and really missed writing it. Anyway, this is part of the 'Learning to' series - as series I apparently cannot stop adding to - and I hope you enjoyed it. :)_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds. :(_


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